taking it back to square one

quite frankly, no, I do not know what's going through my head anymore.
and no, I do not care.

don't really know who I've been lately. It's easy to just say you're a shitty person and call it a day, that's what I've always done. I want someone to force me to not give up on myself. I have plenty of people who never give up on me, but why can't anyone attempt to change my own point of view?

noone wants to be saved

noone wants to be changed

well fuck, speak for yourself.
I just want to feel like I matter.

Did you know that I stopped thinking about you?
I have a certain playlist ony my iPod, all songs dedicated to you.
For the record, I only listen to it when I'm ready to wallow in more of my self pity.
It's under Untitled because I'm not even sure what we are anymore.

1,000+ miles.
remember when you said it's us against the world?
remember how I laughed at how naive you were?
remember how you convinced me it'd always be that way?
remember how I turned out right in the end? how you left without a word?
just remember how the only words I have for you are how much I hate you now.
the heart you love to hate, hate to love.

Sometimes I wonder if I ever effected someone like the way you effected me.
Maybe I am right now.
Maybe I never will.

It stuns me how I'm still incapable of talking to one of my oldest and best friends about you.
How do I start that conversation?

You were my safety net.
Then you left...and I fell
I haven't really dusted myself off yet

If the past is really only the future with the lights on...does that mean I'll run into another person like you in my lifetime?
Will I be that lucky?
Does that mean you'll run into another person like me in your lifetime?
Will you treat them just as bad?

idon'twanttocareanymore